Daily Thought For December 13, 2021
Never Give Way To Anger
When Joseph sent his brethren back from Egypt to his father’s house, he only gave them one counsel, “Let there be no recriminations on the way” (Gn 45:24).
This earthly life is but the road to a blessed life. On the way let us not fall out with each other. Let us go on in the company of our brethren gently, peacefully, and kindly. I mean it when I say: if possible, never give way to anger, and under no pretext let anger and passion enter your heart. Saint James says, plainly and frankly, that “the wrath of a man does not accomplish the righteousness of God” (Jas 1:20). Without a doubt, it is a duty to oppose what is wrong and to steadily and firmly correct those for whom we are responsible, but we must also do so gently and quietly.… A correction given excitedly, however tempered by reason, never has so much effect as that which is given with calmness; for the reasonable soul is naturally subject to reason. Passion is mere tyranny, and in its throes, reason is ruled by it and becomes hateful, and what it claims to be a justice is really dishonor.
… Depend upon this, it is better to learn how to live without being angry than to imagine one can moderate and control anger lawfully. If through weakness and frailty one is overtaken by it, it is far better to put it away forcibly than to entertain it; for give anger even a little leeway, and it will become your master, like the serpent who easily insinuates its body wherever it has squeezed in its head. You ask how to put away anger: as soon as you feel the slightest resentment, collect yourself gently and seriously, not hastily or impetuously. Sometimes in a law court the officials who enforce quiet make more noise than those they want to hush; likewise, if you are impetuous in restraining your temper, you will throw your heart into worse confusion than before, and, amid the excitement, it will lose all self-control.… When we feel stirred with anger, we ought to call upon God for help, like the Apostles when they were tossed about with wind and storm, and he will surely say, “Peace, be still.”
But even here I would again warn you, that your very prayers against the angry feelings which trouble you should be gentle, calm, and without vehemence. Remember this rule, whatever remedies against anger you may adopt. As soon as you are conscious of an angry act, atone for the fault by some speedy act of meekness toward the person who aroused your anger. It is a sovereign cure for untruthfulness to take back what you have falsely said as soon as you detect you are in falsehood; so, too, it is a good remedy for anger to make immediate amends by some opposite act of meekness. There is an old saying that fresh wounds quickly cared for are more swiftly healed.
Moreover, when there is nothing to stir your wrath, gather up a store of meekness and kindness, speaking and acting in things great and small as gently as possible.… So we must not only speak gently to our neighbor, but we must be filled, heart and soul, with gentleness; and we must not merely seek the sweetness of aromatic honey in courtesy and kindness with strangers, but also the sweetness of milk among those of our own family and our neighbors; a sweetness terribly lacking to some who are like angels on the street, but devils in their homes!
—Excerpt from Introduction to the Devout Life, Part 3: Chapter 8
Francis de Sales. (2012). Courage in Chaos: Wisdom from Francis de Sales. (K. Hermes, Ed.) (pp. 21–23). Boston, MA: Pauline Books & Media.